Monday, December 15, 2008


Because you've all been waiting so very impatiently. Didn't your mothers teach you better?


Shannon O: There's something wrong with us.

Shannon O: I need to go dunk my head in water or marshmallows or sometihng

Katie Beth's status: To run... or to die... that is the question
DIE!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katie: I will not, thankyou very much
Jesse: Then there's not really any question, is there.
Katie: not really
but thank you for your unconcern
Jesse: you're welcome, any time.
Glad to.
If ever you need any unconcern, I'm here.
and cheap.
Katie: free, apparently
Jesse: No, that was just a complementary service that I offer, just to kinda get the word out, you kno.
Katie: aha
so normally you get paid a little bit for your unconcern?
Jesse: It's not a very friendly business to be in, people aren't very smart these days, they pay me to be unconcerned, but then get their feelings hurt when I do what they payed me for, not very logical.
Katie: hum
Jesse: Would you like to use my services?
Katie: I just did
without even asking
they were, so to speak, thrust upon me
Jesse: Ten dollars a month, now through the end of this year.
Katie: no thank you!
that's not cheap
Jesse: I told you, that was just a trial period of sorts.
Katie: well I'm cancelling the subscription!
Jesse: Oh, I'm sorry.
I wish I could help, but I'm kinda broke myself.
I sencerely hope you can pull through these tough financial times.
(notice how concerned I am)
(that's 'cause you haven't signed up yet)
(I'll keep being concerned until you do)
Katie: (oh, I get it)
Jesse: (Let me know when you want to sign up)
Katie: (ok)
Jesse: (why are these stupid parentheses things around everything we say?)
(It's like we're wispering or something.)
Katie: (you started it)
Jesse: (spsbsdfdsdrbesrtdtkatiebethasdrpoisduf; ajseufpasdjrkeusiapj)
Katie: (thank you)
Jesse: (What do you think?)
Katie: (I think you should sign up)
Jesse: (Me? To my own business? That wouldn't exactly help, would it.)
Katie: (You would be less concerned for yourself, certainly. Then you wouldn't care.)

Hana: My ambiance has flown completely out the window! Shut up!

Patience: I'm going to call the polithe. Ring ring ring! We need you really.
Everyone else: *laughs*
We need you really MUCH!

Someone in my online lit class, regarding Oedipus: ...he just loses it and takes Jocasta's brochures and sticks them in his eyes until he can't see anymore.

KB: Why is there a bagel in a bag on the table?
Hana: Because I was going to feed it to the ducks. But there were no ducks. There was not even a hint of a duck! But there was a BLUE HERON like HALF A MILE away.

Patience: FAIL.

Shannon O: We need to create quotables tonight.

Nala: I'm wearing floaties to bed...and you can't stop me
Katie: have floaties?
Nala: sorry about the change of subject
I'll get them some how
Katie: no, it's ok, I just didn't know you had floaites
oh :-D
I took Pookums swimming yesterday
Nala: I just learned that you can possibly drown in blankets
Katie: he didn't really trust the floaty
oh yes?
Nala: yes
Links me to a picture showing a girl sprawling in quilts
Comment thread:
Hana: she LOOKS like she was drowning in the blankets...but because blankets can't drown a person...
Emily: or CAN they??
Hana: Are you trying to tell me something I don't know?! This might be crucial to me getting through the night without dying!
Emily: i'm just sayin... wear floaties to bed.
Hana: O.O OK! Will DO.
Katie: oh my heavens
I'll be back, I have to go to the Y real quick O_O
Nala: O.O
Katie: to get floaties!!!
Nala: IT'S 11 O'CLOCK
you do that
have fun with that
Katie: actually on second though
I'll do it later
I'll take my chances tonight
I'll warn VA to save me if I start to gurgle
Nala: ok
sounds good
you could sleep on your back too, that way you're floating
Katie: that's true
I'll have to hold my breath
Nala: or just keep your head above the blankets
Katie: oh, absolutely :-D
Nala: I should wear my goggles

Patience: *puts the Little Monster CD into the computer* *clicks randomly* Ith it even going to thtart?
KB: *goes over to help* I don't know. Does Little Monster even work?
Patience: Doeth Little Monthter even work! NAW! He'th LITTLE MONTHTER!

Nala: note to self: dont' skip around corners that have tiled floors when wearing slippery socks
Katie: bahaha!!
did you just die?
Nala: almost
let's just say the wall got awful friendly all of a sudden

KB: Hi, chicken.
Patience: *with accompanying belly-dance moves* HelLOOOOO, little angel of my crew. *wiggle wiggle wiggle*

or have you seen that already?
Katie: haha
Virginia: is it not hilarious?
Katie: it is most assuredly hilarious
Virginia: I died
Katie: should we have a funeral?
Virginia: only if you'll read Dilbert comics out loud
Katie: hum
well, ok
if you insist
Virginia: I want my funeral to be humerous...and bring back memories of me
and what caused my death...or something

ok, NOW you killed me
Katie: LOL
Nala: geez, I KNEW it wasn't going to be the floor and slippery socks that killed me, but YOU and your stupid quotables

Anna: *singing* And it's dangerous to call the schoolmaster stupid. Cuz then he'll call you Rufus, and everyone will be like, "Rufus! Rufus!"

Genise: What do you do with a victim with a spinal injury?
Rose: You jump in and make the biggest splash you can!
Drew: And then you swim the butterfly to them! And then you grab their head and yank them to shore!
Genise: Uh, NO.
Drew: Ok, no. You slide in up to your neck, and go up to them like... like an anaconda!
Genise: I'm not even listening anymore.
Rose: But she's saying the right stuff now!
Drew: You swim up to them like an anaconda! *makes snakey motions* *eyes get all big*
KB: And then you BITE THEM!
Drew: No, no! Anacondas don't bite, they SQUEEEEZE the LIFE out of you!

Rose: ...and then Jon comes in, not even dressed...
Genise, Drew, and KB: *die laughing*

Rose: I look like a twelve-year-old with no eyebrows.
Drew: What about that picture?
Rose: Oh, yeah, I was pretty excited about that picture. I still look twelve, but at least I have eyebrows!

Nala: water up, my flame flower
Katie: hahahahahhaah
Nala: which is much the same as "peace out, KB"
Katie: got it :-D
fire down, Pyre girl! ;-)

Watching the Morse Code scene in The Hunt For Red October:
Virginia: Hee! They couldn't just use EMAIL?

Patience: Katie Beth, I don't know what ta do.
KB: Ummm... write a book.
Patience: I don't know how to read.

Patience: Touch my hand.
KB: Uh... why? *gingerly touches her palm with one finger*
Patience: No, over here.
KB: *does* Why? ...Did you lick it?!
Patience: Uh huh!

After reading a blog entry:

Nala: you realize you have the coolest semi-initials ever, right?
Katie: mmhmm
Nala: that's like...rearrange them and you get KGB
Katie: (I have been gypped. My Milky Way bar was missing the crunchy.)
which is totally evil
Nala: :-D
you are
Katie: uh huh :-D
and my real initials are KEG
so really I'm just a redheaded beer drinkin' communist
which, if you ask me, is an absolutely terrifying combination
Nala: exactly
I always KNEW there was a reason to be terrified of you, but for some reason, all I can do is laugh in the face of your terror
it might be MY initials


Nala said...

I LOVE YOU!!! These are your funniest quotables yet!

in other news my word verification is unonagn...what does that spell if you mix it up?

Katie Beth said...

Lol! Well thank you! I'm... honored? And surprised, cuz I disagree. :-P

You know, I'm thinking I *shouldn't* turn these into a book and publish it, because you would die. Forever.

Nunogan! It's a sign!

Shannon said...

I'm very happy. Thank you very much. These are all hilarious, like usual. Although, I don't remember saying anything about marshmallows. Delerium. (Is that a word?!)

My word verification (you should turn that off!): loetacir. Hmmm...

Virginia said...

You made my sides hurt. Shame on you.

Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out...

Virginia said...

Oh how embarrassing. First I misspelled "humorous", and then "breathe". What is the world coming to?

In other news, the word verification is "qwhoti".

Katie Beth said...

The world is coming to you going to bed. I hope. You DID just head back that way, didn't you?

Virginia, that is the name of your ancient Indian tribe that we adopted you from. I forgot to tell you earlier. Sorry. I hopes this doesn't affect your Navajo beadcraft.

Fizzie the Kid said...


Patience cracks me up. Those other people do too, but I don't know some of them, so they crack me up less.

my word verification is tupyri, whatever that is.

Katie Beth said...

Fizzie, I believe that is a kind of rare bird.

Katie Beth said...

(Which I just made up.)

Anonymous said...

BUWHAHAAHHAAHHA!! Seriously, I ADORE Patience. :D SHE'S AWESOME! *dies, dies, dies*