Saturday, November 22, 2008

So, Twilight

Virginia and I went with Kelly and some other people to see Twilight at midnight on Friday morning. I have tons of problems with the movie, but I still loved it, and I'm going to see it again with Hana next week, hopefully.

So here's the deal: I plan to write up a review, and I really want to post it, but I don't want to spoil anyone, and it WILL have spoilers. So what do y'all think? Should I post it and let people decide for themselves whether or not to scroll down? Or should I just write it and send it to any of you who ask for it?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

And that's why we live in the SOUTH

My mother to me, as I walked out the door to go hunting, bundled up beyond all recognition:

"Goodbye. I love you. Be safe. Kill something."

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


I'm shocked that Shanny-pants hasn't bugged me to death about posting these yet. ;-)


Jordan: Kaaaaatie Beeeeethums. Oh, sweet Kaaaaaatie Beeeeeethums.
Katie: Jooooordanums!
Jordan: With skin so fair and hair so red, if I say she likes pink, soon I'll be quite dead!
Katie: :-D
Jordan: Kaaaaaaatie Beeeeethums! Oh, deadly Kaaaaaaatie Beeeeeeethums!
it's a short song
needs work
Katie: rofl
Jordan: but I'm proud of it thus far
Katie: I'm glad :-D

Derrick: no way
still up?
Katie: lol
Derrick: very
Katie: I DO frequently stay up past midnight, you know
Derrick: since when?
Katie: um... since years ago before I ever met you?
Derrick: you existed before you met me? =o
sad existence
Katie: HAR HAR

Dave: We only wear formals to weddings, funerals, and other sad events.

Clayton: whenever i see him, I feel an ominous evil feeling
Katie: lol
Clayton: like I want to torch a teddy bear

Nathan: hi
this is Isaiah
Katie: well hi! :-P
Nathan: :)
Katie: when did you change your name?
Nathan: lol
a few minutes ago when I hijacked the keybaord

Nathan: Back to your regularly-scheduled Nathan programming on the Nathan channel. All Nathan, all the time.
(except for when Isaiah takes over my computer)

KB: Your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?
Mommy: Not enough.

VA: Deer season starts today.
David: Done been!

Nala: I love trees better then boys, because unlike with boys, you can tell which ones will hold you or not.

A conversation in texts. I was ordered to post it.
Ethan: why are you poking me?! I'm talking lol
Nala: because guess what I learned I like trees better then boys. guess why
Ethan: Because they...they...absorb sunlight through their hair
Nala: noooo silly ethan
Nala: ok
Ethan: Because they...grow fungus on the south side of their trunk? (or is it north?)
Nala: nooooo silly ethan give up?
Ethan: No Because they don't bleed to death when you cut a branch (arm) off?
Nala: noooo rofl
Ethan: Because trees suck water through their toes. that has to be it
Nala: I WISH...but no
Ethan: i give up
Nala: if you keep guessing you might get it ok I like trees better then boys because, unlike boys, you can always tell which trees are able to hold you without breaking any part of you eventually.
Ethan: WOW

Rebecca: Y'all are hanging around me like flies!
KB: Maybe you stink.
Rebecca: Or I have sweet blood.
KB: *odd Twilight moment* o_O

VA: *comes in* NA NA NA NAAA--oh hi.

Jesse: I'm so tired. So cold. So hot.

Anna: You have such a truthful little mind, Katie Beth.

Patience: Do you know the phone number 4750?
KB: I do now.

I have ten toeth. I wath hoping I would have more than that.

Kyle: so my toe has an issue
KB: "an issue"?
KB: what is this "issue"?
Kyle: partially ingrown toenail again
Kyle: ugh
Kyle: so it's partially infected
Kyle: so it partially hurts
KB: you really oughta get that checked out
Kyle: denied
KB: fine
KB: don't get it checked out :-P
Kyle: k
Kyle: ftw
KB: lol
Kyle: nah it's not bad like last time
Kyle: and the dr absolutely destroyed it when he "fixed it\"
KB: ew
KB: don't go back to him then
Kyle: and I had to wear a massive blood soaked bandage for weeks
KB: gross
Kyle: mk
KB: how much of this are you making up? I don't remember the massive blood soaked bandage
Kyle: I kept it on my toe
Kyle: I don't think you normally inspect those
Kyle: I'd hope atleast
Kyle: ok
Kyle: I just conducted a self op
KB: um, you showed your toe to EVERYBODY
Kyle: no blood
Kyle: oh
KB: and it made your mom shriek
KB: that was funny
KB: and you took a picture of it
KB: THAT was funny
Kyle: ok so I just cut off the side of my toenail
Kyle: with minor pain
Kyle: and no bleeding
Kyle: the dr couldn't seem to do that
KB: sheesh
KB: now it's gonna grow back weird
Kyle: So much pain I almost passed out, and that was after he had squirted lots of pain killer on my blood
KB: ewwww
Kyle: and he stuck needles DEEP into my toie
Kyle: unfortunately I cannot find my toe picture
KB: your mom deleted it off the camera
Kyle: no I had one online
Kyle: to show my internet peeps

Patience: Do thomething exthiting and I'll give you a chip.

Isaiah: oh darn... I have to get my fake license before I can work for chacha
Katie: rats!
Isaiah: You have to be 18+
course, I do have plenty of sibs who are in that age range....
Katie: lol
Isaiah: and of course, friends like you
actually, you

KB: *suddenly hugs Zach's arm* Yeah, c'mon Zach, let's swing dance! *lets go* Ok, I'm sorry. That was weird.
Zach: *pats my head* You'll get better.

After giving a long list of all the ideas in my head:
Nala: I thought you were exhausted
Katie: I am
I'm totally dead
but that never keeps my brain from working
Nala: I see
Katie: I have a hard time napping because my brain thinks it's time to go into overdrive
"Oh! She's not moving! She must want to concentrate!"
I come up with my weirdest ideas when I'm tired :-D
some of which turn out fabulously
I usually come up with lyrics when I'm in bed
Nala: wow
all I do in bed is sleep

Nala: I'll see you in a tick
Katie: O_O
Nala: unless you're in bed
Nala: ROFL
I'll be in a tick
Katie: GROSS
Nala: and I won't suck your blood, honest

VA: That guy looks like a bad guy in a movie. He's panning gold so he must be.

Isaiah: I should go finish my math test...
Katie: lol, ok
Isaiah: and by finish, I mean start
Isaiah: and by finish, I'm referring to the fact that it's due tomorrow morning

Shannon O: I'm falling apart before my very eyes

Shannon O: I love all people.

KB: *sits down across from Anna* Hi!
Anna: I don't feel safe with you there.

Shannon Y: Tell Genise she's on crack.

KB: Hey Pookums!
Pookums: Wah?
KB: Are you as svelte as svelte can be?!
Pookums: Yah!

Listening to "Lucky":
VA: Hey Mommy, you should play this at your funeral. I mean your anniversary!
Mommy: What, are you anxious?! I think you enjoyed the weekend with me away too much!

Derrick: With Rue My Heart is Laden (The KB friendly version) by AE Housman
With dew my pants are sodden
For golden spills not glad
For many a nickel begotten
An unfair trade I've had
By luck: An angry girl
I lament with embarassing shout
For paper towels I would unfurl
But O! Alas! I am out....
Derrick: :)
KB: boo
Derrick: well, whaddya think?
KB: and how odd that you should call me "Killer Bear:
Jon says my new name is "Killer Bee"
it has paper towels in it :-D
I don't know what to think when paper towels are involved
Derrick: BOUNYful praise
would be nice
I thought it was mighty Charmin

KB: Is [name removed] a citizen?
Ruby: Is he WHAT?
KB: A citizen!
Ruby: OH! I thought you said is he sexy! I was like, uhh, I dunno, I guess!
We die.

Nala: sorry, got distracted by Justin Timberlake in a leotard and tights and high-heels...

Daddy: Well aren't you just a little lord-a-leaping.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

What is this?!

It is November 15th, and I am in shorts and a tank top. And I'm comfortable.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Just say no to Vitamin B12

I was forcefully reminded the other day of a severely traumatizing childhood experience.

Seeing my mother--my own mother--putting Vitamin B12 drops into her tea or water or whatever strange concoction she had brewing caused me to have flashbacks of a disturbing nature. Small children with fear on their faces. A house in the dead of night. Shrieking. My grandmother jumping on the sofa. That last one was the kicker.

"What is THAT?" I asked. Don't doubt that my nose was already screwed up in anticipatory dislike. Droppers are weird.

"Oh, it's Vitamin B12," my parent said to me.

Comprehension dawned.

"No!" I screamed. "Don't do it!"

"What?!" said the poor woman.

"Stop!" I said. "That's VITAMIN B12! Don't you KNOW?"

"Um," she said.

"That's what made Marnie jump up and down!" I yelled.

"Oh..." she said. Comprehension is a liberal substance. It spreads like Elmer's and lights up the visage. It lit up my mother's now.

"WHAT made Marnie jump up and down?" asked Virginia, coming into the room at a bad time, as usual.

And so I told the story.


In the way of background for those members of my readership who aren't my sister (or my mother, for that matter), my cousins and I used to go to Marnie's house for Vacation Bible School every summer. We stayed for a week, went to said VBS, got homesick, ate Spaghettio's and Cocoa Puffs, fought over the colors of our dishes (which all had straws attached), went to the beach (Marnie lived across the street from Myrtle Beach), memorized Bible verses in exchange for candy and fame, watched The Stupids over and over and over again, and generally had a rollicking good time. We also frequently fell over backwards in the bar chairs ("Don't lean!" Marnie said, and we did. "You'll fall!" Marnie said, and we did. "I told you so," Marnie said, and she had.), and I was so scared of the painting on the wall--which, I'll admit, still sort of worries me--that Marnie had to cover it with a blanket. But most of this is beside the point.

The point is that we were there, at Marnie's house, for VBS. When we were very small, only Charlie and Josh and I would go. Charlie and Josh representing the Uncle Mike side of the family, I representing the Uncle David (aka Daddy) side. As Jesse and Virginia got older they were added to the collection, as was Cousin Bryant to represent the Aunt Andrea division. As Charlie and Josh had no other siblings, they had to make do with themselves.

Another exciting thing to do at Marnie's was to watch her take her vitamins. This was a Big Deal, because Marnie had many, many vitamins. Some people collect China. Some people collect hats. Some people just collect Chinese (ok, kidding). Marnie, apparently, collected vitamins. The most exciting part of the morning--possibly excluding Cocoa Puffs, but I doubt it--was watching Marnie fill her entire hand up with vitamins and take them all at once. We're talking ten or fifteen at once, I'm guessing. I think if someone tried to do that now I would be ready and waiting to do the Heimlich, but I was too small to do the Heimlich then, and I also didn't know what it was, so it's a good thing Marnie didn't die. We used to cheer her on with shouts of, "More! More!" until she insisted that she couldn't possibly do any more at once.

One night after Virginia was safely in bed upstairs (I don't remember if Jesse was there this particular summer, which was nine or ten years ago. I don't remember him, so he might have been at camp, but I'm too lazy to get up and find out.) Charlie and Josh and I were watching Marnie take her evening vitamins. This wasn't usually as exciting as the morning vitamins, I think because she didn't have nearly as many, but we watched anyway. This evening she took out a little bottle that we had never seen before.

"What's that?" we asked. Probably in chorus.

"It's vitamin B12," said Marnie. "It gives me LOTS of energy. You'd better watch out; I might go crazy!"

"Ha ha," we said. "It does not!" O, foolish words!

"It does!" said Marnie. "I just put some in my nose like this"--she put a bright red drop in each nostril--"and sniff"--she sniffed--"and in a few minutes I'll be FULL of energy!"

We were disbelieving in our youthful naivete, but never a trio to turn down even a hint of entertainment, we waited. Soon Marnie started bouncing, then hopping, then she was racing around the living room giggling at the top of her lungs.

"Ok!" she shrieked. "Hehe! I'm going to bed! Hehe! Goodnight!"

And she hopped off to bed.

We stared at each other in horror.

"Was that... was that real??" we asked each other.

Charlie said he didn't think it was real, but... it sure looked real.

"Whoops!" said Marnie, hopping out of her bedroom like a rabbit on crack. "Forgot this! Hehe! Goodnight!" And she jumped down the length of the sofa, grabbed whatever she had forgotten from the table, whizzed past us, and slammed her bedroom door in excitement.

"That was scary! I'm goin' to bed!" And we all raced up the stairs together, each trying to get away from downstairs as fast as possible.

I don't exactly remember what happened the next morning. I think we timidly asked Marnie if she was feeling ok last night, and she assured us she didn't remember anything out of the ordiary.


Our old friend, Comprehension, now dawned on Virginia's face.

"Was THAT what that was?" she said incredulously. "I remember hearing some shrieking and banging, but I didn't know what it was."

"That's what that was. It was SCARY," I said, shivering. "Mommy, don't take that stuff!"

"But that wasn't real!" said Mommy.

"Well, I know," I said. "But we didn't know that at the time. We sort of didn't think it was, but we weren't sure, and it was SCARY. THAT'S what matters."

"Come on, she was just playing with y'all!"

"Well I know that NOW, but we didn't THEN," I said.

And then she took the stuff.

I am scarred for life.