Thursday, October 13, 2011


KB: Your head is so soft! How is your head so soft?
Si: Cuz I just got it on Tuesday!
Danielle's chair gets stuck
Danielle: Hey! What has occurred?! Why can't I move?!

VA: Donuts are like fat people on diets: empty on the inside, round on the outside.

KB: Patience was jumping around and screaming a few minutes ago because we got a postcard from you.
Tim: well, i try to keep the ladies jumping

Hana: What would happen... if I bought a nail-art pen?
KB: .....The world would stop spinning? Why are you asking me this?

Ellie: If I get scared of the dark will you protect me?
William: Yeeeaaah, that'th why I'm holding your hand!

Ellie: Will you be my knight in shining armor?
William: Pwobly. I don't know.

William trips while walking
Daddy: You ok there?
William: Yeah. It'th a little twicky.

Daddy has just told William about Wilbur Wright making the longest flight at the Wright Brothers Memorial:
William: Wheah ith he?
Daddy: Six feet under.
William thinks about this for a few minutes
William: Even dough he ith five feet undew, I thtill heaw him.
All of us: ............??

Bryant: We need some jet skis. Preferably seven, but one would be fine too.

William: I want my flip-flopth.
KB: I'm lookin', baby, hold your horses.
William: *mournfully* I don't have any hortheth.

KB: You know what happens when nature calls and you let it go to voicemail.
VA: ........I am using that!!

Matt: Mosquitoes bite me everywhere I go!
KB: They love you!
Matt: I know! I wish better insects were attracted to me, like... butterflies, and squirrels.

Grace: Katie Beth, I've been thinking... what would happen if someone's head... fell off in the deep end? Wouldn't that be weird??

William: Thtop doing that with only youw undewpantth on!

Eric: Sit.
KB: Do I have to?
Eric: What?
KB: You told me to sit.
Eric: No, I'm sitting.
KB: Oh. You were just speaking your action.
Eric: Yes. It was an onomatopoeia.

Dan: Look at her hair! It's just magnificent! Isn't it magnificent? It's like you have a fire... and then it flows down like a river.

Matt: He'd better not splash me, I'm pregnant!

Genise: Trevor, did you know that Matt's pregnant?
Trevor: Again?

Hana: I am SO GLAD we reinforced this cake.

Hana: *on the phone with Michael* I think a rhino would play the tuba.

Hana: It's probably going to burn....
KB: Oh, it's going to burn.
Hana: No no, the cake. Either that or it's going to be baby food.

Genise: Made it...i hd a small freak out on the landing but i made it....flying....not one of my favorite things......
KB: Lol... Welcome home!
Genise: I only doubted the pilot for a minute or so....
KB: Haha... poor guy.
Genise: I know......but gotta give him his props......he did awesome!!!!
KB: Props... I get it. ;-)
Genise: I dont....i made a joke and dont even get it

VA: YOUR profile pic has an awkward ponytail.
KB: whatever
KB: now your head is just a question mark
VA: just like in real life.
KB: your head is a question mark in real life?
VA: mostly.

VA: Suppose... just for argument's sake... that there is a male person in your biology class.....................

A YouTube video dies
VA: Nooooo don't die on me don't die doop doop doop......

Ashley: Where is the candy?! I feel like my life is a lie!

Ashley: Ped Xing. That means Pedestrian Crossing. I swear I just got that.

KB: Don't cheat on Projector with that box!
Josh: I already did. I cheated on Projector with Car. But then Car tried to cheat on me with Another Car. They tried to kiss while I was driving. I was like, "Hey, no making out while I'm driving!"

Door closes
Patience: Mommy'th getting dreththed with Toto in there!!
Little kids: *collective gasp of horror*
Door opens again, Toto comes out, door closes
Patience: Oh good.
Little kids: *collective sigh of relief*

Jesse comes in and puts his arm around me while I'm saying goodnight to William:
Jesse: Goodnight, honey. Your mother and I are so happy to have you back, after your long absence, at the Joneses, in Nantucket.

Patience: Virginia, you are thelfish, becauthe you thtole my rhinotheroth!
VA: I stole your rhinoceros?
Patience: Yeth! You THTOLE my RHINOTHEROTH!
VA: ...Oh... I don't... REMEMBER... doing that....
Patience: Um, you know, I don't WANT to, but, Rebecca told me to come back here and tell you you were thelfish, but I think it'th becauthe you thtole my rhinotheroth.
VA: ...Oh... ok....
Patience leaves
VA: *sticks her head out the door* Hey, just so we're clear, I didn't really steal your rhinoceros, did I?
Patience: Virginia! Do you really think I have a rhinotheroth?!

KB: btw, you work till 8 :P
still not too late, but lateish
Hana: I am subbing tomorrow morning, and then working until oh thanks

Eric: *lying upside down on the couch* You know what's weird?
KB: What?
Eric: How you can lie upside down...... and your eyelids still close normally..........

Eric: Girls are afraid of everything.
Genise: What?
Eric: I said girls are afraid of everything.
Genise: Oh. I thought you said roaches are afraid of heaven.

Looking at my earring
Matt: It's like a hula hoop for a mouse.

Josh: Tell leprosy girl she should be a veterinarian doctor.
KB: Why?
Josh: ...I don't know.

Eric: Genise has a squishy nose.
Genise: Squish it!
KB: I don't really want to squish your nose....
Genise: Squish my nose!!

Rebecca: We need some helium balloons.
Patience: *serenely* Yeth. Tho we can have partieth.

Patience: Thith houthe would be really fun if it were upthide down.