Thursday, December 18, 2008

Gerbils, Jelly Bears, and Epic Dramas

I'm at Hana's house, on Hana's Mac, on Hana's sofa. Next to Hana. She added that part. We were supposed to play with the two little girls after dinner, but we were looking at ancient pictures of ourselves and they were bored.

"What are we gonna DO?" asked Mary Asta.
"...Write a book," I said. As always. I'm very creative.
"Naawww!" said Mary Asta.
"Yes!" I said, having a stroke of brilliance. "Write us a story and we'll act it out for you!"

Her little face started to light up, but she was still dubious.

"Go ahead!" I said. "But you'd better go fast, cuz it's almost your bedtime!"

Mary Asta raced up stairs as fast as her little feet would take her. Soon she came back down with a paper and started asking us how to spell words. The culmination of her story is below. Spelling, plot holes, and all.


One day two gerbels. Two gerbils appear on the floor. We shall call one Hana and one Katie Beth. They have nibbly teeth. Thy were waaking along and one said Why don’t we have a party. "Why don't we have a party?" says one gerbil. The other thought that was a great idea. "I think that is a great idea!" says the other. Thy started to put up stremers The gerbils start to hang streamers. "But we can't reach the ceiling," the Katie Beth gerbil says. "No!" says the narrator. "You don't have a ceiling!" "Oh! We don't have a ceiling," say the Gerbils, displaying what are undoubtedly signs of an impending giggle fit. "What are we supposed to hang streamers on then?" "On your cage!" says the narrator. "Oh! On the cage!" say the Gerbils, giggling even more. "How are we supposed to be walking around in a cage?" giggles the Hana gerbil. what color will the be icing for the cake? "It will be purple," says the Katie Beth gerbil. It will be blue. "Oh! It will be blue." says the Katie Beth gerbil, and the two gerbils have another giggle fit. Then Thy started to make the bater. The gerbils go crazy making batter. But suddenly the bater exploded!!! "AAHHH!!!" shriek the gerbils, falling over. The narrator and her helper giggle insanely. Thy laughed and laughed The gerbils laugh a lot. but finely Thy cleaned it up. "Oh," says the Hana gerbil. "I don't like cleaning up." But they clean up anyway. Then Thy made the cake The gerbils stir the newly restored batter wildly. it was beautiful. "It's beautiful!" say the gerbils. Win it was done. Thy had a wonderful time. "They had a wonderful time!" said the narrator. The gerbils have a wonderful time.


After we finished Mary Asta's story, we had to write her and Lily Ava a story.


[Katie Beth's handwriting] Once upon a time there were two giant Japanese jelly bears. "You're the jelly bears," says the Hana narrator. They were very snazzy. "What does snazzy mean?" asked the Mary Asta bear. "It means… awesome looking," says the Katie Beth narrator. "…and glittery." The jelly bears begin jumping and racing around in circles. They had two pet people and they took them for walks every day. "Take your pets for walks!" say the narrators. The bears begin walking their pets.

On one of these walks the two bears and their pets came across a broken bicycle. The bears look down. "Oh!" said the bears. "Oh!" "There is a bike. What shall we do with it?" "What shall we do with it?" says the Mary Asta bear to the Lily Ava bear. "Ah we boofit?" said the Lily Ava bear. The Mary Asta bear does most of the talking since the Lily Ava bear has some problems with communication, notably annunciation. These jelly bears, by the way, were not married. The jelly bears, in their traditional Japanese kimonos with long pockets denoting singleness, giggle. One had pigtails. "That's you," says the Hana narrator to the Lily Ava bear. "No baids," says the Lily Ava bear. "No, braids," translates the Hana narrator for the benefit of the Katie Beth narrator. "We'd better change it to braids."

Suddenly the house exploded, as suggested by the Mary Asta bear before our drama begins. "What house?" asks the Mary Asta bear. "Uhh... THE house!" says the Katie Beth narrator. The jelly bears shriek, causing the narrators to cover their ears. "Wow," said the bears. "Wow!" say the bears. "I didn't know we had a house." "Me neither!" says the Mary Asta bear. The narrators have another unexpected giggle fit. But this did not solve the problem of the bike.

[Hana's handwriting] "I think we should jump up and down around the bike. Maybe that will fix it." One said to the other. "Oh!" said the bears, completely forgetting to relay this part of the drama in their excitement. They jump around.

Suddenly a great green gooey THING dropped out of the trees and scared them so silly that the Jelly bear with pigtails—"Braids," says the Hana narrator. "Braids," resumes the Katie Beth narrator—jumped into the arms of the other Jelly bear. The Jelly bears, who have acquired capitalization, look confused. "Lily Ava, you leap into Mary Asta's arms," says the Hana narrator. The Lily Ava bear gives an uncertain little hop, and the Mary Asta bear throws her arms around her. They squeak.

"That's my bicycle." Said the great green gooey THING! "I like it broken. Would you like some gerbils who bake cakes?"

[Katie Beth's handwriting] "Well sure!" said the Jelly Bears. "Sure!" say the Jelly Bears, who have finally acquired complete capitalization at the very end of our epic drama. And out jumped two cake-baking gerbils, armed with spoons and spatulas! Two gerbils who look suspiciously like narrators leap onto the stage. The Jelly Bears look confused and startled, but go along with it. "Hello!" they said, lifting the two Giant Jelly Bears into the air while the Jelly Bears' pets scampered off to their homelands. "Wait!" says the Mary Asta bear. She scampers off to the play kitchen and gets spoons and spatulas. "Hello!" they said again, lifting the two Giant Jelly Bears into the air while the Jelly Bears' pets scampered off to their homelands. "Hello!!!" say the narrator-gerbils, lifting the two Jelly Bears into the air. The Jelly Bears giggle loudly.

And so the Jelly Bears and the Gerbils lived happily ever after and ate cakes all day. "Do we have to keep holding them?" asks the Hana narrator. "No," says the Katie Beth narrator.

"Ha ha!" says the Katie Beth narrator as she transcribes the drama. "As I was typing it out I accidentally typed 'and they lived happily ever fater'."
"Oh the irony," said the Hana narrator. "I know what YOU think about eating cake!"




Shannon said...

Seriously. You must do that more often. :-)

(I'll be back to read the words later. I have no time. ;-))

Katie Beth said...

ROFL. I straightened it. It took a very long time. ;-) But thanks!

Now come back and read the words. :-D