Becca: You have to plug in the… well, I don’t know what they’re called. I just call them the Red, White and Yellow. Just like the Red, White and Blue. They’re pretty much the same. Except they didn’t fight for liberty.
Tim: I love cake like a fat kid loves cake.
AJ: Ok, this box is sealed up tighter’n a crab’s buttocks!
KB: I didn’t know that was a thing, but good!
AJ: Oh yeah, crabs got buttockses!
KB: Last night I dreamed that you and I got our pilot’s licenses taken away.
VA: Danggg, not a good start.
AJ: I'm thinkin' about becomin' a male stripper and goin' by 'Rub-A-Dub-Chub.'
Alex: I went an watched a dragon ball z movie in the theater today because I’m a mature adult individual
Tim: I smell horrific.
Tim: I’m at the gym.
KB: Oh. Then it doesn’t matter, right?
Tim: I’m offending myself.
Later, when I’m sleepy:
Tim: I could come and you could smell me and then you couldn’t even think about sleeping.
Becca: Also, I woke up around 2/230 last night and heard someone in our bathroom. I couldn't decide if it was KB or a bathroom troll. I'm hoping KB wasn't up that late so it was probs a troll
KB: Unfortunately KB was up that late. Tonight KB plans to come home from class, do laundry, and then crawl in bed and never leave.
Becca: I'm a little sad we don't have a troll
Tim: i like this convo about speedos and hymns
Tim: you know what'd be cool?
Tim: my apartment
if I'd turned the ac on
Kyle and Andrea haven’t decided on a middle name for their child
Andrea: Not sure yet, any suggestions
Andrea: You forfit your right to suggest
Tim: i should have a suger mama
Overheard in the locker room
Teenage daughter: Didn't we have a very, very pale woman with us?
Her mom: We did! I think she got lost.
VA: I got this ice cream the other day that had chocolate on one side, vanilla on the other side, and a fudge core all the way down the middle. O.O Soooo goooood.
KB: AND biracial!
VA: Delicious and socially conscious!
Regarding the color of the new siding
Mom: I'm not sure I love it, but I'll live with it for the next twenty years.
Tim: She said that about you once, Katie Beth.
KB: I bet my dad could probably fix our laundry room door.
Becca: Really?? If he wants to fix our door, I will make him some rice. It's all I have.
KB: Personally I'm sitting in bed weighing the pros and cons of having Chocolate Marshmallow Mateys for breakfast.
Jesse: Are there any cons?
Becca, via text: I'm so unmotivated to touch my homework that I'm unmotivated to even get up and come in your room to tell you about it
Upon being told to stop pacing while she eats
Patience: I’M EATING A BANANA. I HAVE TO PACE.
Tim: It hurt to put my suit on over my sunburn today. Wanted to wear a short dress.
William: One of my friends has a whatsitcalled….
Rebecca: A fever.
Tim: A turtle.
William: A loose tooth!
Tim: ladies always be wantin my shower curtain
Tim: can't remember if you're supposed to tithe the firstfruits of your ice maker
Becca: Today I started a war. Not some sissy war like World War I or II. No, not even an insignificant one like Vietnam. Today ramen and my tummy met for the first time in months and have decided they hate one another. I am giving all of my energy and love to my tummy but ramen is pulling ahead. There are some battles one must lose to win the war. We’re currently debating strategy on what to do next.
KB: I didn’t shave my legs last night. I feel like a woolly mammoth.
Becca: Omgoodness!!!!!!! 20,000 points for slytherin
Tim: i hate having to pee at starbucks
don't like leaving my computer out
KB: yeah... me neither
makes you nervous and peeing isn't as satisfying
you get me, kb
Tim: her dress is much shorter than mine
VA: Wanna see the giant gaping hole in my foot? Of course you do.
I whistle a little bit
Becca: Was that YOU?
Becca: That was very birdlike!
Tim: I'm now wearing boxers and almost wearing socks
so I'm close to ready to leave
At William’s soccer game
Daddy: That kid is like a cedar of Lebanon.
Tim is trying to hang things in his new apartment, but he can’t find tools
Tim: *sadly* I guess it’s not hammer time.
Tim: Also, I apparently made coffee without turning on my kettle. It’s not great.
KB: I also feel like my grocery list is missing crucial items but I can't remember what they are
Tim: i HATE that
KB: there was something that started with a B that I'm positive I'm missing
WHAT WAS IT TIM
WHAT WAS IT
Tim: butt powder
Tim: going to wear my hiking shoes
and pack my running shoes
'cause I'm an adventurer
Tim: sometimes i adventure naturally
usually wear at least something though
Tim: Standing next to a record shop. That just sells records.
Tim: Like massive plastic mp3s
Pat: I’ve had the same thing for breakfast every day since I was in middle school. I drink a big glass of Instant Breakfast. I know you’re thinking, “Did they even make it back then, when there was no electricity?” But they DID.
Sliding the silverware holder in the drying rack
Becca: Whoa! This thing moves?!??! I didn’t know that!
KB: Becca, we’ve lived here for a year and two months….
Becca: DON’T TALK ABOUT IT.