Quotables!

Andrea: I broke a new record

KB: Uh oh

Andrea: I made in your quotable a 3 whole times O_o

I must be slightly funny now

I wish my brothers were here to see this moment

KB: Just realized there’s little to no hope of being able to have hilarious text conversations with my child when I’m 40. What is this life for, anyway.

Becca: I mean we’ll have holograms. What will you need texting for?

KB: I guess that’s true. But the point here is that any children I have probably won’t be old enough to be sufficiently funny by the time I’m 40.

Becca: That sounds like a personal problem. You should be marrying someone who is equivalent or funnier than you are so that your babies pop out being hilarious human beings

Tim: Caroline gave me and Chris mullets at the same time. Chris’s looked sooooooooooo good.

Becca: I shaved my legs twice in one week. Ten points for gryffendor!

Idk how to spell it

Tim: wow, this is the first time I've ever explained measure theory to my girlfriend of 3 hours. huge rush.

KB: Thunder!

Mike: I guess I should go close my sunroof, huh?

KB: Guess so.

Mike: I’ll be right back.

KB: Don’t die!

Pat: You just do what ya have to do, brother.

KB: Had lasagna for lunch. I think I’m dying a slow, monotonous death.

Becca: What songs do you want played at your funeral

Alex: I think you may have an addiction… we need to talk about your taco intake…

Cason: And I’m going to get fat. That will be a real test of his love.

KB: on purpose, just to test his love?

Cason: Yeah. It seems logical.

KB: I say go for it

Cason: I shall. I will start with night cereal.

Kyle: I feel so awkward. Im buying vegan mayonnaise at whole foods :x

KB: Grossss. Next you’ll be growing out your hair and going barefoot everywhere.

Kyle: I hate the approving and welcoming glances peoplr give me when I ask where the vegan cheese is

During the kitchen remodel

KB: So, how's the kitchen?

Maggie: Oh, mostly gone.

Tim: Whoa

What if I could make pancakes with the 1 egg I have

That would be awesome

Tim: Put a fleece blanket on my head to block the light

Now my head is drenched

KB: well YEAH.....

it's June!

Tim: I know that now....

Joe: You are the best real redhead I know

After our AC is fixed

Becca: I'm positive there's air conditioning in heaven. And that I slept there last night.

Tim: when you prove you can care for a sourdough starter, i'll get you a dog

Tim: I don’t think I’ve ever said this to you before, but please go take a shower.

KB: I hate the days when you wear your no-wedgie underwear and even THAT gives you a wedgie.

Becca: Oh that’s so true. And you’re so excited when you put them on…”THESE ARE MY NO WEDGIE UNDERWEAR!!! Today will be GREAT!” And then they let you down.

Tim:  WAIT TILL YOU SEE ALL MY NEW CHARM

KB:  WAIT YOU HAVE NEW CHARM

WHERE DID YOU GET IT

Tim:  charm store?

Daniel: What was THAT? It SOUNDED like he was running funny.

Mom: Ok, no more vegetables for you.

Rebecca: Do you hear what you’re saying?

Tim: Sometimes I listen to reformed hip hop. Hope that’s ok.

Tim:  peoples stop annoying my girlfriend!

HELLO PEOPLES

Tim: Ugh. Thousands of runners ended up at fullsteam.

KB: Thousands, huh?

Tim: I count for a living!

Becca: I was really looking forward to having a CONVERSATION in person with you this morning, Mrs. MIA. Always goneeeee

KB: Sorryyyyy!! I might be back earlier tonight… I hope….

Becca: ...we’ll see. I’m leaving tomorrow. Forever.

KB: MAN………

Becca: But I might come back late Sunday night. We’ll see

KB: Forever’s a lot shorter now than it was when I was a kid.

Becca: Lols you know, just redefining things. It’s what our generation does. Be you.

Leo has a parasite, and we name it Benjamin

Becca: Leo and Benjamin, time for bed!

We go visit Tim's 94-year-old grandma

Tim: Grandmom, don't you want to wake up and say hi to your grandson?

Grandma: *mostly asleep* I'll bite you.

Tim: Why are you do sleepy? Do they work you too hard here?

Grandma: Yep.

Tim: Put you down in the mines all day?

Grandma: Right. But we sleep real good after.

Tim: Can we have a whistle like the horn of Gondor so I can whistle whenever I’m in need?

KB: I’m not a very good whistler….

Tim: I don’t want you to whistle, I want to whistle so you’ll come when I need you!

KB: Oh. What would it sound like?

Tim: WOMAN! But in a whistle.

Daddy: Hello! Did Jesse's gift arrive yesterday?

KB: Yus!

Daddy: Hows citing! Total? How much did u want to contribute? Cuz I can haz V bring a check por usted.

Beth: You want some peaches, AJ?

AJ: Naw. If I eat somethin’ I want it to be somethin’ that can kill me. Like grease!

Becca: Leo, what are you doin’ right now? Go do somethin’. Eat your own paws or somethin’.

Becca: Also, decent burp. Not enough soul. I give it a 4

KB: My burps suck tonight. I had a good one at work and our sales lady was very impressed.

Becca: That’s lame. Who wastes their good burps at work?! You hold those suckers in and keep eating air till you get home