Quotables

Tim: I think this is the first time since I’ve known you that I haven’t made it into your Quotables. I’m going to try to be funnier.

KB: Where’s my cup?!
VA: I couldn’t find my cup either! It disappeared for a couple days! And now it’s back and I’m afraid to drink out of it.
KB: You know, you could just wash it.
VA: *long silence* Oh. Yeah, I guess.

Rebecca: What do you want for your birthday?
William: A convertible!
VA: I hope you get a convertible, cuz you can’t drive for another ten years.
KB: Yeah, VA’ll have to drive you around and take you on dates!
VA: Yeah! Would you like to go on dates with me?
William: Yeah! And I will only drink water.

Four or five of us are all trying to print huge posters:
Logan: It’s just this big one holding it up. Once it finishes processing it’ll spit ‘em out like babies.
KB: Like babies? They take a long time! They take NINE MONTHS!
Maya: Yeah, that was actually a really bad analogy.

VA: Yeeeaaah, you’re like forty-five... goin’ on a hundred.
KB: WHAT?
VA: I don’t know why I said that. I don’t know why I say most things.

Mommy: Hi, how was it OH YOU’RE SUNBURNED.

VA: Man, I’m in such a bad. mood. TODAY!

Brendan calls the pool desk from his office:
Brendan: Is there a tube at point?
David: Yes there is.
Brendan: Is that *name of really weird guy removed* standing next to it?
David: Yes it is.
Brendan: Would you move that tube?
David: Why, does it give the impression that he’s guarding?
Brendan: Yes it does. And I would not want anyone to think that he works here.

Eric: You know, I don’t think building a sandcastle is a good way to pick up chicks.

KB: What IS a cashless ATM?
Tim: They give you tokens basically, to be used at that place
KB: …...........Reeeaaally???
Tim: Yeah. Let me know if you need me to google anything else for you

We come to a fork in the road:
Patience: Fork in the road, fork in the road! Lookin’ like a fool with your fork in the road!

KB: I love bacon so much, I’ll probably marry it.
Kimberly: If you marry it I will hve an affair with it.

Ashley: Ok, time to reapply.
KB: I thought you weren’t wearing sunscreen?
Ashley: I’m wearing it on my face, because I, *sudden British accent*, DON’T WANT WRINKLES!

Lindsay: What kind of treat is that? It looks kinda funny.
Aunt Sonya: I don’t know... peanut butter and duck, I think.

Daddy: *serious voice* Anna, when you’re a guest in Dinky Two... use the fan when you go poo.

VA: Oh! Pie! Pie pie pie pie pie!
KB: You are gonna be SO FAT.
VA: Nuh uh! I’m eating a carrot FIRST.

Mommy: Anna, what are you doing? You take so long to get ready!
Anna: Well, it’s just that I... can’t find pants.

Mommy: Why is your face so red? Why did you get sunburned? I thought you were done with that.

Brendan: Katie Beth, it worries me that you like guns.

Anna and Patience playing some game:
Patience: I’m not theventeen! I’m like, older!

Patience: I can’t wait until Jeanette layth an egg tho we know she ith really a hen!

In response to the previous comment:
Tim: I think that about a lot of people.

Family devotions:
Mommy: Anna, will you pray for Daddy?
Anna: Why?
Mommy: Because he gets tired on his trips, with the long days, late nights....
KB: Big parties....
Mommy: A party in his bed, maybe.
KB: …..You should never say that again....
Mommy: Oh! I didn’t mean it to be weird or anything....
KB: Never say that again.

Old woman at Goodwill (suggestively): That is what she said.

Jon: There is no one I would rather clean up vomit with than you.

Read while grading papers: “He was a deterrent in the waterfall of life.”

VA, stroking Grandmommy’s very soft jacket: ...It’s like you killed a cloud....

Daddy: When’s cake time?
Mommy: Ten minutes....
Daddy: !! Is it really so rigid on the Sabbath?? I mean, was the Sabbath made for the snack time or was the snack time made for the Sabbath??!?

Maggie: *mumbles something*
KB: Maggie, you have to speak ENGLISH.
Maggie: Oooohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Daddy, as Rebecca drives us all home: Ok, good turn. Now the speed limit here is a hundred and ten miles an hour so you’ll need to get your speed up.

Daddy: Oh!! Hugs!!

William: Hey, Spongebob Squarepants! I don’t even like Spongebob Squarepants!
Me: What?! I love Spongebob Squarepants! Why don’t you like Spongebob Squarepants?
William: Well I like sponges, just not ones that talk.

Santa Claus comes up behind William in Walmart
Me: Hey William, who's that?
William: *gasp* Santa Claus. *very nervously* But not the real one.