Why do you leave your gum on the pool deck? Why would you chew gum at the pool anyway? Do you have any idea what's in that water? I won't go into detail for the sake of my other readers, but trust me, it's disgusting.
Is this some kind of punishment for when I make you (or your kids?) spit their gum out into my gloved hand before they get back in the water? They're probably your kids... I really want to think you're a kid yourself, but I don't think you are. I think you're an adult. And that disturbs me.
I would like to think that only kids would be immature enough to spit their gum out and smear it on the pool deck. I would like to think that only kids would leave their gum in the pool gutter. I would like to think that only kids would stick their gum to the benches. But I don't. I think it's you, Adult Gum-Dropper. Kids don't swim laps like you do. And kids probably wouldn't even bother putting it in the gutter. They'd probably just leave it in the water. That's still gross, but it's not as smeary that way.
I don't appreciate it, Gum-Dropper. I don't like taking the time to painstakingly scrape up your gum off of my pool deck. It's sticky. It's stringy. And the longer it stays there, the harder it gets.
And seriously? The gutter? WHY?
Katie Beth (the Lifeguard)