Wednesday, January 26, 2011


Maggie: *watching me frame a picture* I'm hugging that in my heart.

William: If you put fwieth on a chicken you will have fwied chicken!

William: Katie Beth liveth at home, and Katie Beth liveth at wowk, and Katie Beth liveth at thchool.
KB: Haha! That is so true.

Kyle: Speaking of fail...why do roaches need wings >:0
KB: Good question... I have never seen one fly....
Kyle: One just flew down near me in my rest room. It was a moment of unrest for me. I hozed him down with roach killer and it quickly became his moment of unrest.

Genise: So, Josh... what would you do if you were attacked by a shark with no teeth?
Josh: ....I think I'd probably wanna hug it. I mean, it would kinda feel like it was nuzzling me. It would probably be a pretty good massage.

David: FLINCH! Stop being more of a man than me!

Patience: Um, blue and brown and black do not go together.
Tim: I don't have a Bible for every outfit!

William: Get up offa that thing, ouch! Shake it you'll feel bettah!

VA's status: I love how "break" really means working like crazy to catch up on all the school you procrastinated all quarter. "You" is hypothetical, of course...
Caleb: true......
KB: There are actually times when I don't miss highschool.
KB: Oh, and since when do you have quarters? Copycat.
VA: What? It is a quarter. Hence the "break".
KB: ...It is not a quarter.
VA: Then what is it??
KB: It is a semester. And yes it matters, because *I* have quarters and you have semesters and hence my schedule is more differenter than yours.
VA: Well I can't say "all semester" because it hasn't *been* all semester yet. And anyway, I'm homeschooled. How am I supposed to know these things?
KB: You can too say "all semester," meaning "the part of the semester that I have completed heretofore." The fact that you're homeschooled is EXACTLY why you should know these things. :-P
VA: How much wood... would a wood chuck chuck.... if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I think I've made my point.
KB: Oh my gosh. Most perfect response ever, hands down. There is only one way I can adequately reply to that.... *makes the Face That Is Appropriate For All Occasions*
KB: *sisterly fist bump*
VA: End of convo.

Kid in swim lessons: Mr. Jeff! Mr. Jeff! Mr. Jeff! I can say "meow" under the water!
Jeff: *doesn't hear*
Kid: Mr. Jeff! Mr. Jeff!

Grace: So Katie Beth, you've never seen "How to Train Your Dragon" before?
KB: Nope!
Grace: You're gonna love it! IT LOOKS LIKE A CAT!

Phillip: Whenever you get out of swim lessons you always look like you just came back from the Arctic.

Anna: Has Daddy ever had any other jobs that you know of?
KB: Yeah. He was in the Navy.
Anna: I mean other than flying.
KB: When he was a teenager worked at a gas station.
Maggie, Anna, and Patience: *GASP*
Anna: Was he a gangster??

KB: Has Pookums returned to us from afar?
VA: He has. He smells weird and is cranky.

William: I weally don't want to do a thecwet mission.

Patience: You're wearing Chrithtmath pantth.
KB: They're not Christmas pants!
Patience: They have red on them.
KB: So? Just because someone wears red doesn't mean they're celebrating Christmas! Sometimes my face has red on it. Do you think that means my face celebrates Christmas all the time?
Patience: Your hair ith. *quiet for a little bit* Your fathe ith red becauth you get thunburn. Apparently the thun thelebratheth Chrithtmath all the time.

Nick: *stares at the hole where the trash can's supposed to go* Well that's not a convenient hole.

Camp kid 1: How old are you?
KB: Guess!
Camp kid 2: FORTY!
Camp kid 3: THIRTEEN!

KB: Hey William, what's the name of your bunny again?
William: Um... I don't know.
KB: *trying to give hints because he can never remember* Doesn't it rhyme with... 'oody' or something? [The rabbit's name is "Trudi Rudi."]
William: Oh, yeah. Ooty Booty.

Rebecca: I've been getting headaches when I look at things close.
KB: How close?
Rebecca: Well, I was looking at my nose....

Playing cards:
KB: *looking at my hand* Oh, this is such a confusing hand. My soul is so conflicted.
Philip: I'm sorry you're conflicted. You can have a banana if you want.

Hana: I was in the bathroom and I checked my phone and I thought, "That's weird. Why don't I have any texts from Katie Beth? I usually have a text from Katie Beth by nine-thirty!" Then I realized, "...Oh. Because she's sleeping in the other room." I felt smart.

Michael: It smells like girl in here.

Talking about what kind of tattoo Brianne would probably suggest:
Patrick: You're probably gonna say something really descriptive. It'll be like "a bulldog giving birth."
Brianne: Haha, WHAT??
Patrick: I dunno, it's just the first thing that came to my mind.

During Harry Potter:
Timmy: I am the lonely nerd forever. With these glasses, I bear loneliness.

John: i want to distract you for a minute or 5
Katie: you're gonna distract me from Bonquiqui?!?!?
John: hm
that does seem... yes, yes, i am

Becca: When the new Chik-Fil-A opens I get to sing the National Anthem.
Lindsay: That's cool. Do you get to stand up on the thing in the middle? Where they have the salt and pepper?

Virginia, angrily: I probably have the cleanest ears in the family! I clean them out every day!

Anna: William, you're sick. I think you have the dying disease.
William: *skeptically* I don't FEEEEEEEEEEL like dyin'.
Anna: But William, you're sick! You've already died three times in the last two weeks!

KB: Virginia, how can you wear size 3 of pantaloons and I wear size 5 and we're the same?
VA: Well I guess we're not the same cuz they fit me perfectly.
KB: You have a muffin top, don't you.
VA: No!
KB: Yes you do!! You ha--

VA: Maybe it's cuz I have less hips than you.
KB: FEWER hips, Virginia.

Amp: I feel like I just walked into Willy Wonka's factory and ate all the candy in the world and married an Oompa Loompa.

Nic: I don't know the names of any professional football players except Michael Jordan.

Daddy: That's the shirt you're wearing to church?
William: Uh huh!
Daddy: Well that's... interesting....
William: *reassuringly* But it hath a pooooooocket.

Teaching swim lessons:
KB: Ok y'all, I'm gonna give you a break and we're gonna do some fins.
Mia: I LOVE YOU!!!!!

VA: Ok William, you ready to read "My Little Book of Sharing"?
KB: Virginia, I thought you said "My Little Book of Shame."
VA: I WROTE The Book of Shame.

Editing the stick figure self-portrait of me in the head guard report:
KB: Am I keeping the shorts?
David: No, erase those too.
KB: They're on there pretty good....
David: They're shorts, they should come right off.

VA: Anna, stop talking nonsense!
Anna: It's not nonsense, it's... Larry Boy!

Patience: I know something you don't know.
KB: And what is that?
Patience: I'm not going to tell you.

Mommy: Santa doesn't come unless all the little kids are in bed!
Maggie: Santa doesn't come ANYWAY.

William: Did dey have Toy Thtowy?
KB: Yes they did!
William: Did you GET Toy Thtowy?
KB: Yes I did!
William: Did you bwing it HOME?
KB: Yes I did!
William: Ah we gonna WATCH it?
KB: Yes we are!
William: Ooohhh good! I LOVE dat movie!
KB: How would you know? You've never seen it!
William: Yeth I have! I have it on my undewpantth.

KB: What did you give Emma for her birthday?
Si: ...................................Um............................ *thinking really hard*.......................................Um...............................................................
KB: You don't remember?
Si: *suddenly remembers* Something I didn't buy. My mom got it in Savannah. I had no idea she even had it.

David: Go to bed! I have work tomorrow.

Jordan: um… so a spider just crawled out of this customer's computer
that's not okay

Nic: There are the guys that you can't smell at all, and the guys that stink, and the guys that use too much cologne.
VA: .................And then there are the guys that are juuuuuuust right.

William: *sticks his tongue out*
Rebecca: Hey, be nice!
William: Can I peathe thtick my tongue out at you?


Virginia said... have sunk to the level of putting facebook conversations in quotables. was funny though.

Daniel Araujo said...

Bwahahaha, KB, I don't know any of the persons involved, but I still found this hilarious.

The quote about spiders in the person's computer reminds me of my summer working at a pawn shop. We would sometimes get TVs and stereo systems full of roaches, assorted beetles, and maggots. Cleanliness is not a priority for everyone, apparently.

Jeff said...

haha. "i can say meow underwater!" I definitely don't wanna miss that next class!!! see, the kids teach me cool stuff, too!

Nala said...


HannahGirl said...


Anna said...

Kabes I love you but seriously honey you gotta update. It was really funny though. I do remember accusing
Patience of having rheumatism. Did I
spell that right?