Sunday, May 30, 2010


KB: So you got a bead stuck up your nose, huh?
William: *nods*
KB: Is it a big one?
William: No, it a yittle one. *seriously* But it have a heart on it.

KB: So uh, how did you get that bead up your nose?
William: I atendin' it wath a boogew!

Patience: *sits down with her pizza in front of the TV*
William: Heeeyyy, I wath donna thit wight dewe!
Patience: Unh, but William...!
Anna: Well he was.
Patience: But...!
Anna: And William, why don't you just go get your food?
William: No! Mommy ith dettin' it wight now! *with an attitude* How 'bout YOU det me my food?!

KB: Does that make you happy?
Chich: Yes. It makes my insides tingle.

You know those guys with muscles on top of their muscles?
KB: Yeah.
Kalyn: Well it's like he has that, but only the ones on top.

KB: That's not gonna work....
Mark: Believe!!

KB: Ok, go wash your hands before dinner.
William: No.
KB: Yes. Go wash your hands.
William: No.
KB: I will spank you if you don't wash your hands.
William: I gueth I will wash my handth.

VA: You know, it's pretty impressive that some guys have a six pack, like really nice abs, cuz they usually have good UPPER body strength, not tummy strength... so some of them could have babies.

Kid at jam session: So do you go to college?
VA, completely mishearing: ...I don't know....
Kid: *awkward silence*

Patience, dressing William: He won't let me put hith shirt on. He wantth to pretend to be The Incredible Hulk.

William: *grabs Patience's arm*
Patience: Incredible Hulk? I am a thientitht. I can beat you with great poithonth.

VA: *hums the first line of Big Girls Don't Cry*
KB: *does the same a few minutes later and then realizes it* Argg! I hate you!
VA: HA HA. I love me! *drops food* Argg! I hate me!

At naptime:
William: Wait! Tan I be a fiweman? PEEAAATHE?
Mommy: *exasperated* A fireman who takes a nap. Come on!

VA: *sees me looking at her* What?
KB: WHY do you have class?
VA: Uh... why?
KB: I wanted you to braid my hair.
VA: Well I'm doing homework right now. And then I have to shower. And then I have class.................................................. But I MIGHT have time later if you stop making that face.

KB: Maggie, isn't Rebecca the weirdest person you've ever met?
Maggie: Yeah!
Rebecca: Cuz you haven't met youwself!
KB: Rebecca, I think she knows herself.
Rebecca: But she hasn't MET hewself!
KB: Maggie, shake your hand and introduce yourself to you.
Maggie: *shakes her hands*
KB: Introduce yourself!
Maggie: Hello! My name is Maggie. Oh! Hello. It's good to meet you.
KB: NOW isn't Rebecca the weirdest person you've ever met?
Maggie: Um. I think it's a tie.

Talking about how eggs don't come from bunnies, so what's up with the Easter Bunny?
Patrick: All holiday mammals lay eggs.

Patrick: Zombies deeeeeeeeeeefinitely lay jack o' lanterns. I know that for a FACT.

Hana: Have I ever told you what nice teeth you have? The bite marks in my bunny are perfectly lovely. :-D

Brianne: Ok Katie Beth, I got Max to come in for me from five to nine. I told him he'd be working with you and Lauren and he said, "Ugh, the smart girls. They'll probably have me doing algebra and stuff."

Kyle: Apparently kerr saw a transformer the other day
KB: Optimus Prime?
Kyle: He said a sherriff was following him then he turned into a gas station

Anna: You tickled me with your eyes!

Nala: you like licking your face a lot
Katie: it's a curse


Jackson: She's a redheaded lifeguard. She will EAT you.

Patience: *points at a purple sticky note up at the top of the door* Gueth how I got that up there.
KB: Um................. a chair?
Patience: *exasperated sigh* EVERYBODY guetheth that! And it'th RIGHT! And you and Virginia are the only oneth who have guethed.

What is your wife going to say about all this?
Jordan: "lol, you're awesome, honey. So funny, and so good looking, too! I am truly the luckiest woman ever to have found such a stud. Come, let us return to passionate kissing."
Something along those lines.
KB: I'm floored. Honestly.
Jordan: Just add that to the list of reasons you + me = no.

KB: Jesse just told me that while I was at the gym yesterday running miles galore and doing all that exciting stuff, he started a factory, made a really long pole, bought NASA, flew to the moon, and used the really long pole to move the earth, like Archimedes.
Mommy: Oh, yeah. Well you were gone a really long time.

KB: Did y'all use up all the cheese?
VA: No. Actually I think it's still in the living room.
KB: o_O?

Daddy: *hands me a frappuccino* The whipped cream was a little suspect.
KB: ...Does that mean it's gonna poison me??
Daddy: I hope not.

Nala: I like the pink
okay, time for another stickie
Katie: you WOULD use pink for me
Nala: :-D
Nala: Pink = hott
KB = hott
Katie: yeah, as in it burns your eyes :-P
kinda like my hair
but in a clashy sort of way
Nala: therefore KB = Pink
Katie: (not classy)
no no NO
Nala: :-D
don't you LOVE my logic?!
(and that needs to be in quotables)

KB: Hush.
Josh: why? haha
KB: Cuz I said so and I'm an oldest child and I'm used to getting my way! :-P
Josh: katie.. you've known me for almost 2 years.... when do i ever listen to what i'm told? haha
KB: Uh huh. And when do I not get my way? (Hint: not often.)
Josh: i wouldn't know... but again... my not listenin happens a lot more than you gettin your way haha
KB: Actually, you probably just don't notice me getting my way because you're not listening. ;-)
Josh: thats a possibility. we'll never know haha

Max: I am enraged.

VA: You see Katie Beth, you and I are like exact opposites. You have all these people that come up to you and say, "Hi! Will you be my friend?" and you say, "NO! Go away!" and I'm always like, "Why don't I have any friends?" and I go up to people and say, "Hi! Will you be my friend?" and they're like, "No! Go away!"

Jesse: Katie Beth, we're bad parents.

Jesse: You want to wear the yellow pajama shirt?
William: Uh huh. But it hath holeth.
Jesse: It has holes? Well of COURSE it has holes! It has a hole for your head, and a hole for your body, and two holes for your arms. EVERY well-made shirt has holes!
William: I MEAN wight DEWE.

Jesse: You, woman, are smart. You have a... something of note, inside your head.

Nala: do you have a day you can come over?
Katie: oh sorry
Tuesday or Wednesday should be fine
Nala: :-D
Katie: but if I come Tuesday I just need to figure out what to do with the little girls
Nala: send them to Alaska!
Katie: they might miss art class
Nala: so?
that's what video chat is for

Katie: how I love math :-D
Nala: oh how you are weird.

KB: I just saw a car with "THE GAME" stickered across the back. And I lost.
Jordan: You're such a rock.
KB: Pizza face.
Jordan: Your mom.
KB: Your DAD. OH.
Jordan: Okay, now that was just inappropriate and uncalled for.

Eric: *tapes my ankles together* That was a fun game.

VA: How come you have so many friends?! You don't even like people!

William: Tan you peew my tementine?
VA: Yeah. *starts to peel clementine*
William: Not wight now!!
VA: But you just asked me to peel your clementine!
William: Not yet. I donna det a panking!
VA: Ohhh. Mommy's gonna give you a spanking?
William: Yeah.
VA: Oh. Is she gonna spank you hard?
William: No, she not donna pank me hawd.
VA: No? Don't you think you should ask Mommy about that?
William: Mommy, ah you donna pank me hawd?
Mommy: Yup!
William: She ith.

Laken: NO! No Mexicans!

KB: Who's the guy that played in the King And I, again?
Daddy: Yul Brynner?
KB: Yeeaaah.
Daddy: Some people think I look like him, ya know.
KB: Really.
Daddy: Yup. The ones who think I am handsome. Handsome as a rogue.
KB: I wasn't aware being handsome was one of the requirements for being a rogue.
Daddy: It helps. It helps.

Jesse: Katie Beth....
KB: Yes?
Jesse: If they call logos... "logos"... why do they call slogans "slogans"? Why don't they call them "slogos"?
KB: Well why don't they call logos "logans"?
Jesse: Because that would be confusing.

Jesse: Katie Beth, I'm not the sharpest cheddar in the kitchen.

KB: Man, a minute on this microwave takes just as long as a minute on the last microwave.
Daddy: I know, I was hoping it would be a little quicker.

William: *rubbing hard at his itchy nose*
KB: How ya doin' there, William? Ya doin' ok?
William: No. *rubs some more* I feew yike I donna die.

Patience: All my ribth hurt. I think I've been extherthithing too much.

Dan: I am going to buy a milkshake, and then I am going to drink it.
Drew: *gigglefit*
Dan: I don't understand why that is funny. I am going to buy a milkshake, and that is what I am going to do with the milkshake when I get it.

Hana: And it's a full moon tonight!
Sebastian: Do we have a full moon tonight?
KB: Yeah, it is! I noticed it when I was driving over here.
Sebastian: And you didn't think about it being a full moon then?
KB: Well at the time I didn't know we would be dining with a werecow.
Dan: I'm not a werecow, I'm a weresquirrel.
Hana: A weresquirrel?
Dan: Yes.
KB: How does that work out with your mad cow thing?
Dan: It's very confusing. I have a very serious case of species confusion.

Kyle: Indians
Kyle: exude curry

Jackson: I think I look like my dad.
VA: Yeah, you do.
Jackson: At least I don't look like my uncle.
KB: What does your uncle look like?
Jackson: A taller version of my dad.

Jackson's pickup lines:
Jackson: You and this beer have one thing in common: you make my liver shiver.

Caleb: Jackson, don't curse in front of the Presbyterians.


Nala said...

You, my red-headed best person of a friend, are AWESOME.

As are the people you gather around you.

Anonymous said...

Dude. I talk like William when I'm done reading your quotable. Truth! He's completely epic. :D But really, your whole family is; tell everyone hi for me! :)

Squishy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Squishy said...

Aren't you glad that after Maggie met herself, she didn't think I was the weirdest person she'd ever met?