Kyle: What if it was your destiny to flip burgers @ mcdonalds?
KB: I night die. Why do you ask?
Kyle: Cause i'm deep thinking today...y'know when ppl say profound things and go down in history. That's me.
VA: Last night my dreams were like cardboard.
Anna: HAVE FUN IN THE PIT OF DARKNESS!
Patience: Did you know... that your thithter doeth not live with you anymore? And I am your thithter?
Drew: How many questions do you ask?
Patience: Athk me what I wath doing.
Drew: What were you doing?
Patience: I wath wearing thretchy pantth in my room.
Dan: O lifeguard! I can stand now! Perhaps I could help you?
Patience: *about William* He took hith shirt and pantth off, tho I got hith hat....
KB: So he wouldn't be naked?
Sarah: *as Genise and KB argue about something in the front seat* I should have ridden with Mom.
Comparing muscle definition at work:
Sarah: Look, I've got definition! I've got triceps! Sort of... see?!
Cam: *rubs his belly* Girls, I've got a whole dictionary right here. It's got all the definitions you could ever want!
Sarah: Guys, I saw a dead body yesterday.
JC: *horrified gasp* ALIVE???
After the swim lesson kids jump in the water:
Becca: How do y'all feel now?
Anna: *looking at my book* Gaudy Night? So it's like, they're going into the night, and, hey look! A big truck is coming down the Givens' driveway!
Dan: Ha-ta-ta, my friend!
Chris: That was my angry walk, but you couldn't tell because I was in the water.
KB: *pulls VA's ponytail*
VA: You rang?
Driving by a field with field hands in it:
Anna: What?! I thought all the slaves were set free!
Eric: What?! You've never had a Beach Sheep?!
Patience: Did you know that Jeb putth hith tail up in the thummer and down in the winter?
VA: No, I never noticed that!
Patience: .................I wish I had a tail.
Robbie: I'm gonna take a shower tonight. It's gonna be So. Much. Fun.
Eric: I would like a houseduck.
KB: A houseduck? And where would you keep this duck?
Eric: *gives KB the eye*
KB: Yes, obviously in the house, but where specificially?
Eric: .......................................In the.... jungle.......
Anna: MOMMY!!! William's throwing DVDs at us!
Talking about [hypothetical] online dating:
Kyle: That works until you find out the girl you're talking to is actually a guy. Then it becomes awkward.
Kimberly: When I was younger I thought "ghost" was a really bad word... And I was THRILLED when we sang it in the Doxology.
Kid at the pool: Guess what we wewe doin' while evewyone else was swimmin'.
KB: What were you doing?
Kid: We wewe swimmin' in the play pawt. But then we had to come out and eat.
KB: What did you eat?
Kid: Oh, just all the snacks we bwought.
KB: Oh yeah? What snacks did you bring?
Kid: Oooohhhh, pwetzels, and cheese sticks, and an apple fow my bwothew Alex. *confidentially* He's on a little diet.
KB: Who's the one in the green swim suit?
Kid: Call it a bathing soup.
Kid: Dat's my bwothew Nicholas. He's biggew dan me even though he's fouw and I'm five. *thinks* And how old would you be............ wight now?
KB: *dies* I would be twenty-one right now.
Kid: *confidentially* My mom is in hew THIWTIES!
KB: And what's your name?
Kid: *happy/embarrassed squiggle* Zachawyyyyyyy.....................
Alec: Hey, Mrs. Groover, would it be ok if, after we finish shooting, I wash your dog?
She said this lisping, but it wouldn't get the whole point across:
Patience: Hi sin!
Patience: *tone of great condemnation* A SIN!!!
After passing a squished frog on the driveway:
Anna: It seems like a lot more frogs are getting stupid.
KB: Joy said there was a tornado in her town and it ate Wal-Mart.
Mommy: It's the judgment of God.
KB: *bewildered pause* On WAL-MART?
Jesse: Come on, William! Let's sit here and... observe the ladies.
William: A-you a-leh me poke yeewww!
William: A-you a-give me my thword! Thwordie.
Patience: *comes up while I'm reading Physics* Here ith dirt, and water, and the thtraw. *hands me invisible items*
KB: *absentmindedly pretends to slurp it up* Oh, tasty. *goes back to reading*
Patience: *says something but isn't heard because I'm studying*
KB: *realizes she's talking* Sorry, what?
Patience: You were THUPPOTHED to make a BRICK. You ATE the BRICK.
Before a "show":
Patience: I want to announthe thomething!
Patience: There will be NO food or drinkth. Or hamburgerth.
Rebecca: Mommy, Anna called me stupid!
Mommy: Anna, you know better than that.
Anna: Well I wanted to throw something hard at her but I knew I wouldn't get away with it!
VA: Hey guess what. I did a chin-up! *as KB laughs* Well, sort of.
Patience: My omelet will be WONDERFUL!
Five minutes later:
Patience: *crying* BUT MOMMY! I CAN'T CUT IT! I HAVE TO UTHE MY WHOLE THTRENGTH TO CUT IT AND I DON'T WANT TO UTHE MY WHOLE THRENGTH TO CUT IT! I HAVE TO UTHE MY WHOLE THTRENGTH AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!
KB: Patience, you have no pants on.
Patience: I know.
KB: Why do you have no pants on?
Patience: Well, I had them on, but I took them off becauthe when I bent my knee I felt like I wath going to get a rash and it hurt really bad.
Anna: You know the best thing about people?
Anna: They can READ. And reading means whoa! A happy life!
Anna: *playing cards* Life cannot get better than this! Or CAN it?
KB: Are you going to look at any OTHER schools?
Jesse: I should... what would you recommend?
KB: I ALREADY recommended State. And State has a swing club!
Jesse: I'm sure Grove City has a bunch of swing clubs.
KB: YEAH, but if you went to State, you could take ME.
Jesse: That would take away all the appeal of going to State.
Kyle: but so what? I'm still a rockstar
KB: got your rock moves?
Kyle: yes, somewhere
Kyle: I thnk they're in my other jeans
Kyle: I knew someone who moved to wyoming
Kyle: so it exists I believe
Kyle: if you go to the beach of NC
Kyle: look out to sea (east ofc)
Kyle: you'll see bermuda
Kyle: weather permitting of course
Kyle: the weather has never permitted me to see if :-/
KB: Patience, STOP. That is not necessary.
Patience: YOU'RE not nethethary.
KB: Your face isn't necessary.
Patience: Your mom ithn't nethethary.
Kyle: Wanna fight?
Driving by a guy in a car:
VA: Is that guy smoking a cigar?
VA: There... oh, he has his hand down now... we'll have to wait for him to hold it up again.
KB: Oh, I thought he was gonna just then....
VA: Yeah... close, but no cigar.
Anna: William, say, "The WICKED and the goooooooooooood!"
William: A weecked an' a dude!
William: *runs around in his diaper* Ah I indethent, wight?
In calculus class:
Josh: So why was that same kind of problem so much harder yesterday?
Mr. Turner: Well, that's mostly because I can't do arithmetic.
John: Is your life fulfilled?
KB: Is my life what?
KB: I..... don't even.... I.... I don't even know how to answer that. Is it fulfilled in WHAT? You didn't give it an object to fulfill.
John: ..............I'm going to take that as a yes. I'm going to take that as a yes so I don't have to question you anymore.
VA: *furrowing brows*
KB: YOU... look confused.
VA: ...........I think I am confused.
John: I think I am too.
Daddy: Hey. *smacks me with the fly-swatter*
Kyle: I was planning to go to the mall this weekend
Kyle: to get a hat
Kyle: because I am coveting a hat
Kyle: and I'm coveting the whole mall
Daddy: Do you think the Scott's Toilet Tissue overwrap would be good to wrap things in?
KB: Uh, no? What are you wrapping?
Daddy: Well I haven't YET....
Kyle: Speaking of tired
Kyle: that is a description of myself
Kyle: so I'm going to leave
Kyle: and take 45 winks
KB: dont' take 'em all, I need a few
Kyle: 5 more than the average person normally winks
KB: Children! Stop!
William: Cheewun! Top!