Becca: I have the wiggles
KB: Just realized an omelette is just a breakfast quesadilla.
Later:
Tim: I just realized a wrap is just a salad in a flour sleeping bag.
Regarding Maggie being a camp counselor:
KB: She just seems so wittle.
Patience: Oh, she’s huge.
Andrea: I said D-U-M-B the other day--
4-year-old Isabella: BUTT?!?!!
Becca: Hey guys, Lindsay is coming to stay the night tonight as long as everyone’s cool with that! :)
Drew: Ok. I’ll put a shirt on.
Becca: Good idea lol.
Drew: I mean, I think we’ve established that clothes are annoying.
Becca: And very overrated.
KB: I actually don’t remember how old these contacts are.
Tim: You’re not supposed to do that!
KB: It’s fine!
Tim: Yeah, until they have to amputate your eyes!
Andrea: Gabe said woo tonight
KB: I noticed that. I almost loled.
Andrea: Me too. If you were in eye contact our eyes would have met and we would have giggled
Daddy: Sorry I missed your call this morning. We were in a meeting with…...Kitchen Man.
Andrea: Can u get married ASAP so we can double date to the Bahamas this fall
We have extra room
Tim: Seth and I were talking recently about how we hate nonchalant nail clipping people
Becca: I like the idea of gluten-free waffles, but then I tried them and they weren’t that great.
KB: Really?
Becca: Yeah… I think it’s the syrup. I don’t really like syrup.
KB: So don’t use syrup?
Becca: But I like syrup…
KB: But you just said you don’t like syrup….
Becca: Well not on my waffles…
KB: So what do you eat on your waffles?
Becca: Syrup…
KB: I’m so confused.
Becca: I think I like the IDEA of syrup… but it’s too sweet.
KB: So don’t use it!
Becca: But I like it!
Tim: i called alina a fatty and she cried
Becca: Are you cold?
Erin: Yeah.
Becca: *with her mouth suddenly and inexplicably filled with ice* Do you wanna ithe coob?
KB: Hahaha!
Becca: Don’t make fun of me, KB!
KB: How could I not?!
Becca: I don’t currently have an answer to that question.
KB: Yeah, cuz you’re fulla ithe coob!
Becca: Do YOU wanna ithe coob?
At school:
Joe: Can you come with me for a second? I need to get my moonshine.
Pat: If the fish has babies yall help ‘em with lamaze, ok?
Becca: Was that a pooptable??
The boy Becca nannies wrote his Mother's Day assignment about Becca. One item on his list was, "She is a good cook."
KB: WAIT. I just looked at that picture again and saw #5. Either Jack has low standards or you've been hiding something!!! ;-)
Becca: There is a word I would use here but it would cost me a quarter in the swear jar. -_-
KB: The internet makes things more confusing than necessary.
Becca: Lets delete the Internet
KB: K
Rebecca's foot falls asleep
Rebecca: Wake up, foot! Your country needs you!
Becca: I went to a movie last night
All alone
KB: Mr. and Mrs. Duncan say hi to yall and everybody, and Mr. Duncan says to give you all hell.
Dad’s response: Why, that’s a nice sentiment.
Mom’s response: You can check that second one as done. :)
KB: I don't know what to get people for their birfdays
Rebecca: Me either.
KB: but one of them's yours
Rebecca: Well...I want to make this pattern sometime, so I guess that's a suggestion.
She sends me a link for a dress pattern
KB: ok, well, that'd be good for William I guess, but what do YOU want?
Rebecca: Toy cars.
KB: oh, that's easy
Rebecca: Millions of them.
And maybe some motorcycles and legos for good measure.
KB: remote controlled?
Rebecca: Oh, yes.
KB: I am bored, tell me a story
Rebecca: Once upon a time, there was a girl who demanded that her little sister tell her a story, because she was bored, so the little sister did. The end.
KB: that was the worst story ever
you better tell another one
a better one
one with more inherent fun
Rebecca: Once upon a time there was a plague, and everyone died except for one person, and so she went and played on a swingset that all the mean kids had never let her play on when they were alive, and had fun. The end.
Drew: Just say no, to snacks, and drugs, and Leo’s nose on the back of your thigh.
Becca: We should make a poster!
Drew: Hey, how much do I owe you?
Becca: Well, doobaflatchit gave me… hang on.
They do some calculations
KB: Wait, was *I* doobaflatchit? I just assumed someone else was doobaflatchit, but now I’m thinking *I* may have been doobaflatchit.
Becca: You were doobaflatchit.
Drew: Do you wanna build a snowman?
KB: I’m not going to respond to that.
Drew: Ok bye….
KB: One of the worst things ever if when you poop in a public bathroom and then there’s no soap. You’re all like UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!
Becca: Ew. Don’t ever shake my hand again
KB: I’ll try to remember to stop that habit
Becca: Good. It’ll be difficult, I have really awesome hands. But they only touch clean things - like Leo. He’s really clean. He cleans his butt and his fur with the same tongue...but it’s clean because he cleans it. He is worthy of my hands.
Becca: I just sang Leo some Taylor swift music. He’s officially the love of my life
KB: But he didn’t break up with you, how can you sing T-Swifty about him?
Becca: There are a select two songs I choose from
VA: The other day, me and Rump were talking about how we’re such a progressive couple. He’s shorter than me, and we’re an interracial couple.
KB: Because you’re black?
VA: Why yes.
KB: Well that makes sense.
VA: Breaking social boundaries. We’re pioneers.
KB: I can hear the neighbor snoring again. That is absolutely 100% not ok.
Becca: We should go buy breathe right strips and place them on their back porch area
Anonymously
With a note that says: you’re disturbing angels. Please make it stop.
Luis: You’re my friend, ish.
KB: We shared a cupcake!! We have a bond!
Luis: *whispers* It’s not strong enough.
Rebecca: Maggie and I had our physicals this afternoon, and [the doctor] basically spent the whole time telling me that I need to eat constantly and get fat.
Pat: *with great urgency* Uh oh. *long pause* That man looks like a bumblebee.
KB: Oooooo I got sunburned again today... dangit!
VA: I will bring you a burkha tomorrow.
VA: Fiiiiiine, we can listen to arminian music.
KB: Could you drive less bumpily? I'm trying to work. GENIUS IS HAPPENING HERE.
VA: Where?
Genise: Riley was very sad that I left.
KB: You should have brought him, you could have put him in your bag.
Genise: One, he is not a purse dog. Two, I would never own a purse dog. Three, I think it’s degrading to dogs to put them in a purse. Four………
KB: Four….
Genise: Four…. all of the above.
Dad: Portland, OR - home of the ugly tattoo. Nice people, but ugly tattoos.
